For One Last Time

WARNING! : Emo post ahead. Leave now or regret later. TQ.

It’s time to end the thoughts. It’s taking in too much energy. I’m getting really tired. Whatever it is, it has passed. There is no chance of re-doing anything. Yet I could not stop thinking about it. And the more time it consumes, the stronger the feeling grew.

It’s really draining me out to pretend that I am ok and happy and clueless. As if the world is flawless when my world is not anywhere near. It’s even worse when I have to swallow everything myself. There isn’t anyone who I could talk to who will truly understand my situation. Hence the choice of not expressing.

But do the people know that I’m in pain? Do they see my sacrifices? I presume no. Things would have been different if they understood. Was it necessary for me to let them know in the first place? What’s the purpose of it?

I do not complete my works just to let others know how well a job I’ve done. I did not do things right because I want compliments. I did what I needed to do. I did what I didn’t have to do as well. Was it all worth it? NO. No they don’t.

Because no one appreciates the shits that I have to go through cause no one cared. A simple sign of appreciation would be nice but it wasn’t essential because that is not what I am seeking for. It is not what I cared for most.

You didn’t have to say “Thank You”. Neither were you required to say “Much appreciation to what you have done”. You just DIDN’T have to say “XXX not as important as XXX”. Who are you to judge? What are your rights? Have you notice and measure the weights?

What hurt the most are the thoughts of me not contributing as much. What you see is just the surface. Have you dug deeper? Or do you intend to? I presume no again. Cause you don’t care. Neither do anyone else.

That just makes my efforts more worthless than it was. What’s the point of doing so much when this is what you get in return? What’s the point of giving so much when others think you are not important? Perhaps you should be given the opportunity to be in my shoes.

Or perhaps it is my turn to be in your shoes. Not to bother about anything that is to come. To ignore everything. Cause it just doesn’t worth it. Efforts were drained down the polluted river to a long forgotten island in the middle of nowhere.

It ends in 9 hours and 49 minutes.

- Worthless -

11.04.09  2:11am